In Marriage, Love Alone is Insufficient

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By Ogiri John Ogiri.
As important as love may be in any relationship, it may not be enough to sustain the relationship until the end. Mutual tolerance and accommodation can prove quite instrumental. 

Being deeply in love with each other is not the issue. The question is " can you live with him? Can you live with her? Can you live with each other? Can you tolerate or accommodate each other? For instance, some partners have bad breath. Some are very dirty. Some are gossipers. Some love hanging out; some do not like hanging out. Some smoke, drink and club. Some do not. Some love sex without any apology. It is not because they are wayward. It js who they are. Some do not like sex at all.It is not because they are unexposed to modernity, it is who they were brought up to be.
Some love children; others do not. Some love reading books. Some can even argue over the most trivial issue. The list is inexhaustible. Can you live with a partner who exhibits some of these traits?

Unfortunately, these differences in our behaviour in terms of tastes and preferences emanate from the fact that, we come from different backgrounds with different socio-cultural experiences. Sadly, there is little we can do to change anything. The challenge is heightened the more when we even realize that, people do not change when they get married, but they simply become who they truly are.

This is why it is important not to underrate the place of accommodation and tolerance in a relationship. Our fore-parents understood this and so they had lasting marriages.

Note this: nowadays, people do not go into marriage to love; they go into marriage to test love. Not realizing this, beforehand, is one of the most important reasons many of those who got married out of love are now divorced or in the process of doing so. They could not stand the test of love in the marriage.

Love deeply. But be careful not to underestimate the power of mutual accommodation and tolerance in your relationship. This is because, when love fades and fails, accommodation and tolerance come to the rescue.
© Ogiri John Ogiri.

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