What is the Problem with Marriage Today

By Ogiri John Ogiri 

It's weird how our mothers who didn't eat sharwama ( that bread-grass stuffed delicacy) and pizza in an eatery, stayed longer in their marriages than their daughters who eat sharwama and pizza in eateries. They didn't have the luxury of being taken out to eat fresh fish pepper soup, Isi-ewu and odeku yet they gave everything to the marriage without complaining. Now their daughters who enjoy these luxuries are hurrying out of marriage.

Our mothers who knew nothing about being publicly proposed to or engaged had a lasting marital life than their daughters who got proposed to with a ring in a Jeep parked in a park.

Our mothers who didn't go to school had a longer marital lifespan than their daughters who are proudly graduates in various fields of studies. Our mothers, even in their illiteracy, intelligently respected, worshipped and honoured their husbands without reservations. They were happy for it because they understood that being married to a man didn't translate to equality with the manhood of man. But many of their daughters, with all their education and exposures, have chosen the unenlightened path of disrespect and arrogant dishonour. Now they're unhappy because they have been wrongly taught to see marriage to a man as an equality and a competition with the manhood of man. Some of their daughters act like they have testicles or balls in their loins.

Our mothers who stayed in polygamous unions stayed in marriage longer than their daughters who are in monogamous unions. Our mothers chose polygamy and abandoned the Side-chic system of marriage. They were happy for it because they understood it was better to be second wives to men who could afford it than to be side chics or concubines without honour. Their daughters have been conditioned to demonize polygamy but in its place, many have adopted the Side-chic system of marital union. Now they're unhappy and feel empty.

Our mothers valued the extended family system. They welcomed, accommodated, fed and trained relatives and children who were not theirs, yet they were happy in their marriages. That was because they understood that in the end, it is our humanity that would count. Now their daughters have adopted individualism that cares about no one outside the immediate family. Yet they're not happy in their marriages.

Our mothers went to markets on foot sometimes sustaining strains and blisters on their feet from the long distance trek, yet they had lasting marriages than their daughters who now drive to supermarkets in SUVS. That was because they understood life in its basic form while their daughters don't appreciate this..

Our mothers fetched water in basins and bowls, carried firewoods on their heads with babies skillfully strapped to their backs while walking the long distance home, yet they had marriages that lasted longer than those of their daughters who now have portable water system connected to kitchens and bathrooms in their houses; who cook with gas; who no longer carry babies on their backs and who now move around in convenient vehicles. That was because our mothers appreciated the dignity in doing something with whatever was available where they were. Their daughters no longer appreciate the dignity of little beginning. Something is definitely wrong somewhere.

What then is the problem?

© Ogiri John Ogiri.

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